Repercussions
by allitersonance
Summary: A collection of oneshots relating to my other fanfic, Rewind. Abandoned.
1. Failure

**Repercussions**

This will contain side-stories, omake, what-ifs, et cetera, relating to _Rewind_, because there are some things I'd like to show you that Shikamaru doesn't see. So yeah. It will probably be updated sporadically, whenever the ideas come to me, especially during the school year.

It may contain spoilers for _Rewind_ if you haven't read it yet, or even for chapters I haven't written. It probably won't make all that much sense if you haven't read it, either.

**Failure**

Character(s): Older!Naruto, Older!Shikamaru  
Related Chapters: Prologue  
Genre: Angst  
Summary: Shikamaru's soul has departed, and it looks like he's dead.

The seal is very intricate, dark lines of ink stretching across the floor neatly. It has to be perfect. A single line out of place could mean failure, and they cannot afford to fail.

There are several smaller seals around the outside perimeter of the seal. These smaller seals hold chakra, and will all be released in the same moment. If the seal is imperfect, they will both probably die in a massive explosion.

Nobody will miss them.

They had spent months, perhaps years, on designing the seal. They had spent several days inking it into the floor of a building, when they should not have stayed in one place for too long a period of time. It's okay though, sort of. They do not think they will be interrupted, for everyone else within several kilometres is dead.

They have returned to Konoha, and they had rebuilt this structure on their own.

Shikamaru stands in the centre of the seal, back straight and eyes alert. Naruto summons four shadow clones, each one a part of his consciousness, and he stands on one corner of a large pentagon. There is a kanji underneath him, the symbol for wind'. His clones stationed themselves at the predetermined symbols, not needing a verbal command.

He makes one hand seal, then another, then more, in rapid succession. He flips through the hand seals they'd determined would be needed with practiced ease; having rehearsed them so often that they were now ingrained in his memory, he could practically do them in his sleep. But they could have been wrong. Naruto hasn't been able to practice moulding the chakra, because actually performing the jutsu before they were fully prepared would have been too dangerous. What if the seals backfired horribly? What if he moulded the chakra wrong, or didn't use enough or used too much? He might be doing it wrong, and he would never know.

He is sweating. He hopes the sweat doesn't drip off onto the seal, because that could be disastrous. It could smudge part of the seal, or completely ruin it. And foreign materials could also throw all of this off; even if they are wearing clothing he can't help but worry. Maybe the clothes will ruin the jutsu, too. He hopes not.

He knows that he will be left alone, after this, but he doesn't deserve another chance. But Shikamaru does. And so Naruto will do his part to undo the destruction that led to this pitiful point in their lives. He thinks that maybe, if all goes well, he will have repented for all of his sins. He knows that Shikamaru will succeed, but if Naruto was to fail at this crucial moment, this will have been for nothing – all of this. Shikamaru's abilities and great intellect would not matter, not if he never got a chance to use them. Everything hinges on Naruto's skill; he is the one who had trained under a great seal master; he is the one that is performing the jutsu. He is the one doubting himself, the one with the terrible feeling that his skills will only take them so far; he thinks this, even though he knows that Shikamaru, being so confident in Naruto's abilities, has no such thoughts. The confidence is unfounded, and _unfair_, because Naruto doesn't deserve it and doesn't want Shikamaru to trust Naruto to do this when he might actually not be able to do what's needed.

It certainly wouldn't be the first time.

He releases the chakra within the seals in a bright blue flash. They flow into the right parts of the seal easily, having been designed to do so. He uses his own chakra to direct the chakra in the more complex patterns, and his own massive stores are used to sustain the jutsu until they have finished.

Naruto almost wishes that he could die from this, that the excessive cost of chakra would end his pathetic excuse of a life, but then the jutsu would not succeed. And it has to succeed, no matter what the cost to him.

Even if he can never see his friend again.

But something is wrong. Shikamaru sways on his feet, eyes shut tightly. Shikamaru screams, a sound that brings back a million memories and none. Naruto almost launches himself to his friend's side; his heart pounds with fear for his friend (and maybe himself, says a nasty thought at the back of his head, maybe his just doesn't want to be alone). He yells at Shikamaru, to answer him – say something, anything! Is he alright, can he move? He tries to stop himself from leaving his place; a battle he is quickly losing. Sensing his intentions, his shadow clones, his own clones, shout at him to stay put and continue the jutsu. They have gone too far to end this here now. If they quit now, they have no chance of succeeding, and they don't know what will happen. If they continue, maybe Shikamaru will get the second chance he deserves.

And Uzumaki Naruto is not a quitter.

His clones know him too well, and it is with apprehension and a great amount of worry and tension that Naruto does as they suggest. He watches Shikamaru convulse and fall, but he just swallows and, gritting his teeth, keeps going with all of the determination he can muster. Shikamaru's body is limp and his body hits the ground. He convulses again, blood spilling out of the side of his mouth. And now, finally, the jutsu is complete. Shikamaru is surrounded by concentrated chakra, a shimmering aura of light that would blind Naruto if his tenant wasn't healing his eyes even now. Naruto rushes to his friend's side as he watches the fade, and grabs onto Shikamaru's shoulder. His red, slitted eyes stare into his friend's. He looks for a sign of life, or anything at all, yelling at Shikamaru to answer him, but the light in the Nara's eyes is fading.

_**So much to lose…**_

Naruto panics, feeling for a pulse in Shikamaru's neck. He feels nothing, only warm flesh that will soon cool. But maybe, in his panic, he just felt the wrong place – or so he hopes – and kneels down beside the body with his ear above Shikamaru's mouth. His hands shift Shikamaru's head so that he won't choke on his own tongue, as he has been taught by a civilian. His own harsh breathing and pounding heart distract him from being able to hear Shikamaru breathe, and there is no hot breath on his ear.

But all is not lost, because even though he could never perform a medical jutsu if his friend's life depended on it (as has been proven time and time again), there are things even a civilian can do. They had to learn after they had lost their last medic (Naruto winces at how apathetic he sounds), and Naruto has learned well.

…_**so much already lost…**_

He presses his mouth on Shikamaru's and breathes out, once, twice, then moves on to compressions. His hands press down on Shikamaru's chest repeatedly, in a desperate attempt to get the heart pumping. He hears ribs crack, and the poof of his clones disappearing, but continues.

He doesn't think about the success rate.

He keeps going for what must be hours, and the sun is rising by the time he finally stops, his arms burning. They'd started yesterday morning, and he had kept going through the night – a feat that must be unsurpassed. His stamina is legendary, after all.

Shikamaru is still not breathing.

Naruto stands up slowly, feeling dizzy. He has just – for the moment seems to have been mere seconds ago – killed his only remaining friend. His cheeks are dry.

…_**now tell me…**_

There is another presence in his mind, a sinister voice, and he is not fighting it.

He is no better than Sasuke, after all.

…_**what is there left to gain?**_

* * *

Betaed by NaiteShyde

Posted 12 September 2007


	2. Not a chance

**Repercussions**

Title: Not a chance  
Character(s): Older!Shikamaru, Older!Naruto  
Genre: General  
Chapter: Prologue  
Summary: If Naruto had answered differently, he wouldn't have been alone.

"If you could go back in time, theoretically, would you? Even if you couldn't change anything, and you had to watch them die again? Even if you made everything worse?"

Shikamaru's question seems out of place, Naruto thinks, in a lull in a conversation about their ever-dwindling supplies. But it shouldn't be surprising, really. Shikamaru has always thought too much, and it was inevitable that this would come to mind. It _is_ surprising, however, that Naruto hasn't ever even thought about this himself.

He makes up for it by thinking hard now, closing his eyes as he ponders. He opens his clear red eyes and answers carefully. "Only if… only if I didn't have to leave you behind." He closes his eyes. "I think it would kill me if I lost you, too… I wouldn't be able to handle it, and I'd make too many mistakes to fix anything at all."

"Naruto…"

Naruto looks to his side to watch Shikamaru lying on the grass beside him. Naruto shoots him a watery smile. "How could I live with myself if I _willingly_ abandoned a friend when I didn't absolutely have to?"

Shikamaru meets his eyes, and Naruto is a little surprised to see pain and sorrow in them. He wonders what Shikamaru is thinking.

"Yeah," Shikamaru finally answers. He looks away. "I guess you wouldn't… You're more selfless than I am."

Naruto frowns. He doesn't know what might be going through Shikamaru's head, but he isn't sure he wants to. He can tell that whatever Shikamaru means by his comment is not something Naruto wants to hear.

"I think that if I found a way to reverse time, I'd do it at any cost as long as I could bring you back with me. And only if."

"And if it turned out that you couldn't?" Shikamaru stares straight up at the clouds. His voice is tense.

"Then I'd stay behind with you, so you wouldn't have to be alone."

As Naruto stares at Shikamaru's profile, he thinks a smile is spreading over the other's face. "Yeah, me too."

"Naruto," Shikamaru calls as the blond is poring over some calculations. Naruto is grateful for the interruption. His head is buzzing and he finds it difficult to think. The amount of chakra required for a time-manipulating jutsu might even be too great for one as powerful as the Kyuubi to handle, but they can't have millions of chakra-storing seals half a kilometre long each.

Naruto turns to see Shikamaru hunched over the blood-stained desk. "Yeah?" He can't suppress a bit of excitement from creeping into his voice. Maybe it's a huge breakthrough, but he doesn't want to lift up his expectations too high, or else his hopes might crash and burn. He can't tell if it's good or bad from Shikamaru's voice.

"We can't…"

There is a sinking feeling in Naruto's chest. From those two words, he knows it will be bad.

Shikamaru turns to meet Naruto's eyes. He is crying, tears rolling down his cheeks silently. "We can't make it together."

There is tense silence as Naruto's eyes widen in shock. His mouth drops open, and his jaw is left hanging until he has the presence of mind to close it. He swallows back a scream. His heart might be ripping itself in a thousand pieces, one for every time he broke a promise, unable to stand against the sudden flood of emotion. Horror, shock, fury, sorrow. Disappointment, dismay… none of these words is strong enough to describe what he feels in that moment.

Over five years, wasted.

Naruto wants to ask if Shikamaru is absolutely sure, without a doubt, but he remembers how, during the past few days, Shikamaru had refused to leave his work for food, sleep, or even to relieve himself. He remembers seeing his furious scribbling. He remembers how Shikamaru wouldn't even speak to him, how his voice was tense as the Nara demanded that Naruto was to be quiet. He remembers that Shikamaru would never say something like this unless he was.

So, instead, he answers, "Oh."

They both avert their eyes. They'd been so close… and really, this doesn't have to go to waste. One of them could do it. Naruto knows that either of them would be able to succeed. Shikamaru can think of strategies that will turn everything in his favour. Naruto can throw himself into becoming powerful enough to protect everyone, and he had more contact with both the Akatsuki and Orochimaru. He had been closer to Sasuke, he had trained under Jiraiya, he had convinced Tsunade to become Hokage… perhaps he is the better choice. But if Shikamaru had Naruto's knowledge, he could doubtlessly manipulate the situation a lot better. Maybe he wouldn't have been strong enough, but that is why they were supposed to save the past together.

If one of them was to go… the other would be left alone. The last thing he wants is for this to happen to Shikamaru, but he doesn't want to be left behind either. He wouldn't be able to handle it.

"I'm not leaving you behind," he says determinedly. He wants to say that he would refuse to let Shikamaru to go alone, but he can't find the right words. He doesn't want to force Shikamaru into anything, or sound like he is trying to.

"Then I can't let you wallow in despair without me, either." Shikamaru's voice is strange. Naruto doesn't know if he's even sincere, but he can't help the relief from flooding through him. He doubts Shikamaru wants to be called on it – it would be insulting, anyway – so he isn't going to ask.

"Of course not."

They don't speak of it again.

* * *

Posted 14 October 2007


	3. Alternate Reality

**Alternate Reality**

Character(s): Naruto, Shikamaru  
Genre: General  
Chapter: Prologue  
Summary: Shikamaru has never wondered if this is really happening to him. He should.

Shikamaru doesn't know this, but Naruto has become very adept at genjutsu.

Naruto's always been good at pretending. He can smile when he feels sad, looking _truly_ happy – his smiles seem to reach his eyes, because he can almost convince himself that he's the happiest man on the planet. He can look stupid, act stupid, bring himself three moves within victory before they realise what he's doing. He doesn't bother, any more, but he still can.

He practises, sometimes.

He was able to do this when he was a child. He wasn't very good at it, at first, but tried and tried and practised anyway. He learned to smile in any situation, stretching his lips into his wide, signature grin even when all he wanted was to burst into tears. He learned to make it his default expression; he'd call on this "mask" without even realising it as soon as he was feeling even a little bit hurt. He had to struggle to keep his smile off his face sometimes, when it wasn't appropriate at all.

It took a long time. He's mastered it, now.

Naruto wasn't pretending to be bad at chakra control. He just _was_, an unavoidable consequence of too much chakra and too little practice. Even after years, he couldn't control it as well as he liked. He tried his best to improve, he really did, but it wasn't good enough for anyone else. It never had been, but this time – this time they _helped_ him, and it made all the difference.

This time, when he tried his best to improve, he met their standards. Practising and practising until he collapsed in exhaustion, in his usual way, again. But this time it worked. This time he was good enough.

Or so he thought. Then there was one too many brushes with death due to his poor chakra control. Then people started dying. Then he realised he had to get even better.

So he did.

Now he is as good as – no, he is better than – his teachers were. Better than even Shikamaru. He doesn't know anyone who is better than him, because they are dead if they'd ever crossed his path.

Naruto has an excellent imagination, can create strong images in his head. That's how he could pave a path to become Hokage back before he realised all directions led him off a cliff. He saw where he wanted to go, almost got there, until something he could never have imagined happened. He envisioned his way through that, and got through, even though it wasn't as well as he thought he would. Sometimes, he can see _their_ faces. Can hear their voices.

Naruto has an amazing memory. He can recall the first thing that nameless sad-eyed boy with the soft blue hair said to him, even though they never met again. He remembers the laughing, but not completely malicious, tone of the time he was pushed around in the Academy playground. He remembers being rejected the first time he asked Sakura out for a date, he can remember being determined not to be brushed off. He can remember looking back on it and realising that he was doing it wrong, that he wasn't respecting her the way he would have wanted to be respected. He remembers eating out with Iruka-sensei for the first time, the joy that he felt, the smells and voices and the kind faces at Ichiraku's ramen stall.

He can pay attention to detail, sometimes too much and he misses something important. He can step back and look at the larger picture. He can do both at once, sometimes, if he really tries. He remembers them all, when he wants to.

He does, when he needs to escape.

Naruto is good at convincing people, even changing their personalities and giving them the will to work for something that suits him as much as it does them. It might be his never-ending determination, or the fact that he always wins in the end. It might be because he is so charismatic, it might be something he inherited by his father. Heck, it might be his cute face. Whatever it is doesn't matter much, because it's always worked out for him before. Funny, he really does want them to change, really does think it's for the better. The feeling of debt they have is just a nice bonus.

Naruto has met with several masters of a certain discipline, once. He convinced them to train him in the way only he could, learned faster than anyone they'd ever known, surpassed them because that's just what he does.

All of these factors have made him into one hell of a genjutsu master.

Maybe he should have told someone, but he doesn't think it would have helped. Besides, it's nice to have a secret, sometimes.

When Shikamaru asks the question, Naruto knows that it's been on his mind for a while. Too long. It doesn't sound like it, isn't phrased as such, but Naruto knows his only remaining friend and knows how his mind works. He knows that Shikamaru wants, needs to do something about it.

He knows that it's impossible. The word isn't usually part of his vocabulary, but it makes itself known when there is no doubt.

He knows Shikamaru knows this. He knows Shikamaru wants to hear that they can do this. He knows that Shikamaru _needs_ his impossible dream to happen, with the same desperation he knows all too well.

Naruto knows that he's always been the best at making impossible things happen, and he knows that he wants Shikamaru to be happy, even at the cost of his entire self. He doesn't know if he can make it happen, but he knows he can damn well try.

He's good at trying.

Shikamaru knows little about seals, while Naruto has studied under a famous seal master for years. It's simple enough to lie. Naruto's doing most of the work, anyway. If Shikamaru suspects anything, he doesn't say it.

He wonders if he's doing the right thing. He knows the answer.

When they find that Naruto would not be able to go to the past, Naruto is relieved. It means he's done this correctly up to this point. It's simple enough to convince Shikamaru that Naruto is not the right choice. He feels bad for lying. He has no other choice.

That night, Naruto discreetly hides a kunai. He knows Shikamaru notices. He doesn't explain his actions.

Shikamaru comes to his own conclusion. Naruto knows that he's only partially right.

If, when the time comes, his plan fails, they will both die. Shikamaru, before he realises that it was all a lie. Naruto, when he can't take this any more. It's better for both of them this way.

Naruto has to draw on Kyuubi's chakra for this. He has to draw on chakra stored over years, has to depend on intricate seals to do much of the work for him. This would make sense for a time-travel jutsu. It makes sense for a genjutsu that is to last for at least fifty years, too.

Shikamaru stands in the middle, five Narutos surrounding him. It would make more sense for him to be lying down, in truth. It should be expected that Shikamaru would fall.

Naruto isn't pretending when he worriedly demands to know if the Nara is really okay. Brain damage, or maybe even pain in general, would throw everything off.

The chakra flows as it should, however, and travels through Shikamaru's body and mind as it should and has the effect that it should. Everything is going perfectly. Shikamaru is in a whole other world, now. Naruto is like a god to him, though Shikamaru doesn't know it. He controls the world. He will make sure Shikamaru succeeds, but Shikamaru's actions will determine how he gets there. Shikamaru will have a happy ending, no matter what.

Another clone pops into existence beside Naruto, temporarily replacing him. Naruto steps off the seal and walks out. He has to make sure nobody will interfere – not for decades, at least.

He didn't have to do this. He – they – had a lot of options that didn't involve deceiving each other.

Maybe they could have spent their time chasing down criminals, or rebuilding Konoha, or even revolutionising the world so that shinobi would never be needed again. It would have been an end to their way of life, but their way of life is a trap. Nobody would choose to become a ninja if they knew what it entailed, but they don't know, so the cycle goes on.

Naruto and Shikamaru could have done so much. They complement each other well in skills and personality. They should have, for the good of themselves and the world. They would have, had they been able to move on. They didn't.

He didn't have to be virtually all alone. He wishes he wasn't.

He wishes that there was someone, anyone else alive. He wishes there was someone who would depend on them. Naruto and Shikamaru both need someone to live for, and if there had been even one person with them, they would have been able to move on. He wishes this with all of his heart.

He wishes Konoha hadn't fallen on that fateful day. He wishes he hadn't fled. He wishes, guiltily, that he wasn't the one in this situation, and he wishes he didn't feel this way.

Most of all, Naruto wishes this whole time-travel business wasn't all a lie. But not all wishes come true.

Shikamaru really should have known. It's impossible to change the past.

* * *

What! You were lying to us all this time?

Beta'd by NaiteShyde, as usual.

Posted 2 December 2007


End file.
